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Toxic positivity - how does positivity become poisonous?

Encouraging, spurring advice? Good tips on how to ignore life's challenges and negative emotions in order to continue on your path to success? Well, let's have a closer look.
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Sakari Heiskanen / Aalto 2024

Several studies have found a correlation between gratitude and wellbeing. Keeping a gratitude journal can lead to greater life satisfaction. Positive emotions have been found to broaden one's thinking, promote learnign and even influence longevity. Coping well with challenges can enhance resilience and strengthen the belief that future difficulties can be overcome. Positive emotions have many benefits for both individuals and communities. However, if every situation is viewed as if the outcome depended solely on one's attitude – or that every cloud has a silver lining if one chooses to see it – we are approaching a phenomenon called toxic positivity.

What does toxic positivity mean?

There is not (yet) an established scientific definition for toxic positivity, but it generally refers to behaviour that emphasizes an optimistic approach to situations, and downplays, minimizes, or even denies all other emotions as harmful. Judith Halberstram is credited as the inventor of the term, but it is strongly based on research on unrealistic optimism that began in the 1980s in the United States.

Happiness and attitude can be worked on, but only to a certain extent. One of the most significant downsides of toxic positivity is that it leaves no room for other emotions. We may begin to see negativity, dissatisfaction, and unhappiness as moral faults and individual failures. Anyone who complains has an attitude problem. A depressed person just hasn't worked hard enough for their happiness. An employee exhausted by the workload is just unable to focus on what is good.

Quotes from real everyday situations:

A crisis is always an opportunity for something new and better. Let's not focus on these unpleasant feelings but think about how to move on from here.

If only you would focus more on what is going well. A gratitude journal has helped me. Have you heard of it?

Don't worry about that. In this field, you must learn to endure! Now let's move on!

A robot or a sentient human?

For a long time, emotions have been viewed unwelcome in the workplace. The prevailing belief has been that emotions should be left outside the workplace, and talking about life outside one's work has been deemed unprofessional. In recent years, however, more focus has been placed on emotions at work. The attention is increasingly directed toward understanding the importance of people bringing their entire spectrum of emotions to the workplace. After all, they are people, not robots.

According to research, denying or conceiling emotions can increase feelings of stress in the body. If you are not allowed to show your discomfort or express what bothers you, your stress levels may increase. Hiding emotions can be exhausting. A lot of energy may be spent ensuring that no one notices what you're actually thinking or how poorly you are doing. Lacking a sense of authenticity or the feeling of being fully oneself may lead to internal conflicts and an increased risk of burnout. 

A side effect of toxic positivity is that people do not dare or want to point out mistakes, ineffective practices, or even actual risk factors. When a positive person always finds the good sides in everything, it may seem as if there were no mistakes or challenges. The lack of bringing up negative views can turn against the company and its operations - even jeopardizing its existence.

Why do we strive for positivity?

In recent years, there has been a happiness boom. Happiness has become a goal, and the pressure to be positive is part of this trend. But why do we strive for happiness and positivity at the expense of our well-being?

One reason is that several studies have found connections between happiness and efficiency, creativity, commitment, and reduced absenteeism. However, there have also been studies questioning these connections, and correlations often do not indicate which factor influences which and how. Sometimes, the results have been interpreted to mean that happy employees are better employees. Positive people have thus become desirable, even though studies have not been able to show that an unhappy employee is necessarily worse than a happy one.

Quotes from real everyday situations:

It is important to maintain professionalism in the workplace. There is no space for personal problems or emotional outbursts here. Let's try to be professional now.

I don't like that someone has the right to ruin our good atmosphere. It is contagious. I think it's important to be able to read the situation and not to let your bad day show.

A study in the Netherlands examined the need to create a happier image of oneself in the workplace. Factors influencing toxic positivity and pretending happiness were observed in organizational and managerial cultures, as well as at the levels of teams and individuals. Toxic positivity seems to run rampant in companies where diverse emotions are poorly tolerated and where there is a lack of trust. These companies are characterized by a leadership culture in which leaders maintain a distance from their subordinates, do not value feedback, and are inauthentic in their own behaviour. At the team level, toxic positivity is supported by the pressure to appear happy within the group, and team dynamics that require positive behaviour. At the individual level, the pressures for positivity stem from hopes of advancing one's career, and from personal reasons, such as the need to avoid conflicts or the difficulty of raising challenging issues.

Toxic positivity can be partly explained by sociologist Erving Goffman's impression management theory. In order to reach their goals, people may strive to present an idealized image of themselves to others. Examples can be found in marketing, politics, the dating market as well as in job interviews. Through impression management, people may even attempt to shape their own identity completely. If happiness is perceived as a desirable trait, people may wish to look successful by portraying themselves as constantly joyful. Behind this facade, in all its simplicity, is a humane desire to be accepted by others - or the fear of being left out and alone.

During challenging times, instead of pursuing happiness, one can focus on being present with their own and others' emotions. However, when things are genuinely going well, B. Fredrickson's broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions has shown that positive feelings support the growth of an individual's physical, intellectual, psychological, and social resources. This also enhances the community's resilience to face difficulties in the future. Therefore, positive emotions are beneficial as long as they are not used to mask challenges or genuine feelings. 

Negativity bias and its effects 

Unpleasant emotions, experiences, and thoughts—such as everyday disappointments, challenges in close relationships, or negative feedback—have been shown to impact us more strongly than corresponding neutral or positive experiences. This phenomenon is known as negativity bias. It is recognized at both individual and societal levels. Bad news tends to sell better than good news, a good reputation is easy to lose, and a bad one is difficult to shake. Unpleasant experiences also make us change our behavior more effectively than pleasant ones. 

One likely explanation for the strong effects of unpleasant experiences is evolution. Recognizing danger and remembering its signs has been vital for survival. Today we are rarely in acute danger, but unpleasant experiences still tend to create stronger memory traces than pleasant ones. However, negative emotions should still not be completely ignored; they can reveal value conflicts, support learning, or encourage us to act on something important to us. 

For well-being, it is also beneficial to practice recognizing and enhancing positive emotions. It is worthwhile because positive emotions have been shown to broaden our attention capacity, which can support learning and lead to new ideas, actions, and the formation of social relationships. These, in turn, build individual and community resources, making it easier to cope with future challenges.

Toxic positivity strikes twice

We tackle our heavy workload with a smile, lull ourselves into emotionless professionals and repeat positive mantras. Does this make us happier?

Statistically positive emotions have been associated with a lower risk of depression. At worst, however, idealizing happiness and positivity may lead to the opposite results. Studies conducted in the United States and Great Britain have shown that excessive admiration of happiness can indeed increase the risk of developing depression. Aalto University lecturer and philosopher Frank Martela has written in his column in Helsingin Sanomat that toxic positivity strikes twice. According to him, the challenge is that if some emotions are seen as unfavourable, people feel guilty when experiencing them. This way, along with the original negative feeling, guilt also arises. Phew, double the amount to hide…

Amidst the trend of pursuing happiness it can be challenging to notice what kind of behaviour is bad for yourself and your communities. That's why it might be worth pausing and reflecting on the positivity requirements. Although complex and negative sensations are sometimes uncomfortable to face, rejecting them can be even more harmful. It might be better to live through them and work on what they communicate. And even if it is trendy, no one has to be happy.

As the Australian researcher Sara Ahmed has written: we have the freedom to be unhappy.

A blade of grass and a structure in the summer

Dealing with feelings

The opportunity to be authentic plays a crucial role in how satisfied a person is with their life.

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References:

Ahmed, S. (2010). Killing joy. Feminism and the history of happiness. Journal of Women in Culture and Society 35:3, 571–594.

Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Finkenauer, C., & Vohs, K. D. (2001). Bad Is Stronger Than Good. Review of General Psychology, 5(4), 323–370.

Côté, S. (2005). A social interaction model of the effects of emotion regulation on work strain. Academy of Management Review 30:3, 509–530.

Edgar, F., A. Geare, M. Halhjem, K. Reese & C. Thoresen (2015). Well-being and performance. Measurement issues for HRM research. The International Journal of Human Resource Management 26:15, 1983–1994.

Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389.

Fredrickson, B. L. (2003). The value of positive emotions. American Scientist, 91(4), 330-335. 

Goffman, E. (1959). The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. New York: Doubleday.

Gross, J.J., & Levenson, R.W. (1997) Hiding feelings: The acute effects of inhibiting negative and positive emotion. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 107(1), 95-103.

Halberstam, J. (2011), The queer art of failure, Duke University Press.

Kahriz, B. M., J. L. Bower, F. M. Glover & J. Vogt (2020). Wanting to be happy but not knowing how. Poor attentional control and emotion-regulation abilities mediate the association between valuing happiness and depression. Journal of Happiness Studies 21:7, 2583–2601.

Kish-Gephart, J.J., Detert, J.R., Treviño, L.K. and Edmondson, A.C., (2009). Silenced by fear: The nature, sources, and consequences of fear at work. Research in Organizational Behavior, 29, pp.163-193.

Martela, F. (2019) Jatkuva hyvä päivä saattaa olla merkki toksisesta positiivisuudesta. Helsingin Sanomat 21.3.2019. https://www.hs.fi/elama/art-2000006042031.html

Linzbach, L. & I. Suojanen (2020). Behind the happiness mask. In J. Marques (ed.): Happiness at Work. London: Routledge, 211–223.

Nezlek, J.B, Newman, D.B. & Thrash, T.M. (2017) A daily diary study of relationships between feelings of gratitude and well-being, The Journal of Positive Psychology, 12:4, 323-332.

Rutter, M. (1993). Resilience: Some conceptual considerations. Journal of Adolescent Health, 14(8), 626–631.

Weinstein, N.D (1980). Unrealistic optimism about future life events. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 39 (5) (1980), pp. 806-820.

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